Understanding the Syria Situation

 President Assad is a nasty guy who got so nasty his people rebelled and the rebels (who are Good) started winning.

But then some of the rebels turned a bit nasty too and christened themselves Islamic State (definitely Bad) while some (still Good) continued to support democracy.

So the Americans (who are GOOD) started bombing Islamic State (who are Bad) and giving arms to the Syrian rebels (who are Good) so they could fight Assad (Bad), which was good.  

By the way, there is a breakaway state in the north​ (bordering Turkey) ​run by the Kurds who want to fight IS (which is good) but the Turkish government think they are Bad so we have to say they are Bad whilst secretly thinking they’re good and giving them guns to fight IS (definitely BAD) but that is another matter.

Getting back to Syria.

So President Putin (who is Bad because he invaded Crimea and the Ukraine and killed lots of folks including that nice Russian man in London with polonium-poisoned sushi) has decided to back Assad (still Bad) by attacking IS (who are now very Bad) which is sort of a good thing.

But Putin (still Bad) thinks the Syrian Rebels (who are Good) are also bad, and so he bombs them too, much to the annoyance of the Americans (always Good) who are busy backing and arming the rebels (also Good).

Now Iran (who used to be Bad but are now Good because they have agreed not to build any nuclear weapons to bomb Israel) is going to provide ground troops to support Assad (still Bad) as are the Russians (Bad) who now have ground troops and aircraft in Syria.

So a Coalition of Assad (still Bad) Putin (extra Bad) and the Iranians (Good, but in a bad sort of way) are going to attack IS (BAD)  which is a good thing, but will also attack the Syrian rebels (who are Good) which is bad.

Now the British (Good of course, except for that nasty Mr Corbyn in the corduroy jacket, who is probably Bad) and the Americans (always Good)  cannot attack Assad (still Bad) for fear of upsetting Putin (Bad) and Iran (Good/Bad) and so  have to accept that Assad might not be that bad after all compared to IS (SUPER BAD).

So Assad (Bad) is now probably good, being better than IS (but let’s face it, drinking your own pee is better than IS, so no real choice there) and since Putin and Iran are also fighting IS they can now become Good too.

The US (Good) will find it hard to arm the rebels being attacked by the Russians for fear of upsetting Mr Putin (now Good) and that nice Ayatollah in Iran (also Good).

So the US may be forced to say that the rebels are now Bad, or at the very least abandon them to their fate. This will lead most of the rebels to flee to Turkey and on to Europe, or to join IS (still the BADDEST).

Sunni Muslims will see an attack by Shia Muslims (Assad and Iran) backed by Russians as something of a Holy War. So IS will then be seen by the Sunnis as the only Jihadis fighting against the Shias in the Holy War and so many will see IS as good (Ouch!).

Sunni Muslims might also see the lack of action by Britain and the US in support of their Sunni rebel brothers as something of a betrayal (they might have a point there) and so will see Britain and America as Bad.

So then we have America (Bad) and Britain (also Bad) providing limited support to Sunni Rebels (Bad) many of whom are looking to IS (Good/Bad) for support against Assad (now Good) who, along with Iran (also Good) and Putin (also, now, unbelievably, GOOD) are attempting to retake the country Assad used to run before all this started.

I hope that makes things clear.

​(Daniel Gordis)

4 thoughts on “Understanding the Syria Situation

  1. So you are the guy who judges who is bad and who is good. I found it funny, that everyone is being judged in context of the Syrian crisis, except for Putin. Why did you say Putin is bad, because of Ukraine(out of context), and America is good for no reason. You could have also said America is bad because of Iraq, or so many things it has done. But you chose not to, because you are playing the narrative of the Corporate media. This is nonsense. Totally nonsense.

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