Dear- He-who-should-not-be-named- Navaneeth

Vyapam Teesta

I can do what Neha Dhupia could not- pretend to criticize the government.

I can do this because I have the supposed privilege of being both a Hindu (on paper) (which means I will not be asked to go back to Pakistan) and a Man so perhaps a certain section of internet trolls will find it harder to target me with their venomous, sexist taunts. Also, democracy but who am I kidding, in a country where teenage girls can be jailed for updating and liking a facebook status, I am certain my criticism of government itself will be fuel enough for their aggression.

Incase you missed the Harry Potter reference let me clear it out for you, He-who-should-not-be-named was code word for Voldemort (The not-so-nice guy) because no witch or wizard who cared for his or her life could openly criticize Voldy or his gang of, let’s call them not-so-nice people. While the magical world didn’t have the likes of twitter or facebook to lash out at any and every form of dissent they did have their wands and of course magic!

Imposter

The Vyapam Scam and the disappearance act that followed can only be the work of wizardry because only a fool would dare suggest that such an open and unabashed cover up could be the work of mere humans. But the CBI has more important fish to fry with Teesta Setalvad around. Teesta has been at the forefront in the conviction of prominent BJP leader and of course, former minister Maya Kodnani. For those of you who don’t know, because many seem absolutely unaware- the CBI raid on Teesta came barely a day before the appeals by those convicted for the Naroda Patia massacre case were to be heard in the Gujarat High Court, about two weeks before the final hearing of Zakia Jafri’s petition against the closure report of the Supreme Court-appointed SIT. Perhaps that along with Lalit Modi’s globe trotting adventures is one of many coincidences that seem to occur in your reign. After all magic is a form of planned coincidence.

modi

Teesta has led this case and many others and has been closely assisting Zakia Jafri with her petition. Among its many naïve accusations one stood out distinctly in the columns of newspaper jargon. The CBI accused Teesta along with her husband of ‘misappropriating’ funds to buy ‘ear buds’ among other things. While I have never spent more than a few hundred rupees on ear buds in a whole year, I guess Teesta had a more pressing need for the same.

Now back to Voldemort. While Voldy openly professed his disdain for a certain minority and went a great deal out of his way to generate forced consent to his rock hard beliefs, you prefer to let your orthodox, ethnocentric machinery of sworn followers do the talking. In fact you continue to preach an almost ironic harmony, while the ostracization of apparent ‘outsiders’ continues in your own backyard.

Voder

I understand sir that I cannot technically hold you accountable for the words of the very many bigots that swear by your name. But I must ask you sir, are you oblivious to the fire they are itching to start? Is it not bad enough that a certain section of people are driven out of their village because of a minor incident that could be easily resolved? Or the obviously ignorant idea of ‘Love Jihad’ that has become a favorite among your party’s chauvinist bigots? Would you shut down these bigots with the same fervor as you do your political opponents in Bihar and other states? Or is that asking for too much?

It’s incredible how history and mythology are invoked time and again to impress upon our diverse nation, our apparently homogeneous ‘sanskars’. Be it the banning of beef on our dinner plates or words that merely describe sexual preferences because how dare we talk about two people of the same gender falling in love in a film? I’m curious; did you congratulate the American Gay community on their new legal right to marry?

 Modi1

Governors replaced by puppets has been an age old practice so it came as no surprise that you followed in your predecessor’s footsteps. However propping up the only space of independent thinking that was left untouched even by Indira Gandhi during the emergency? That caught us all off-guard, a masterful stroke carried out in typical Third Reich fashion. Then again who cares about institutions that safeguard our most basic of rights?  Or those that have spawned some of the most legendary Indian film makers to have walked the earth. Or one of the premiere institutes of technology in the world. We are after all the largest democracy in the world, what good is a democracy with free spirited thinkers?

FTII

Perhaps we should adopt the Chinese form of governance, we would most certainly achieve your bloated estimates of growth in record time, the country would have development, development written all over it. Foreign investment would pour in, industries would flourish, the richest 10% of our population would thrive. Human rights and environmental regulations could safely take a back seat; you won’t ever have to bother with criticism. The remaining 90% of us can pretend to live in Tibet.

I understand, like every other fresh government you came in with a great deal of fanfare, you made many a promise and now that new car shine is waning. Sometimes I agree, sitting in your office must be a tough task, you must be faced with a lot of difficult decisions. But you were hailed as the messiah of Indian politics, people quite literally worship you, you flew across cities and villages, promising change and people believed you.

ModiYogaModigander

Things haven’t really changed  sir, businesses are still having a hard time doing business, farmers who grow our nation’s food are dying hungry or killing themselves to avoid that fate, scams and tales of corruption favoring the rich are cropping up just as frequently, you are playing the same blame-game that all the others before you played.

Trolls

The only thing that has changed is perhaps the touch of narcissism that you added to your suit that one time and the large cult following of internet trolls you’ve amassed and of course the selfies. What a joy it is to see the selfies from your travels around the world. The expression on Premier Li’s face was priceless, such a cutie.

Modi and Premiere LiModi and Li

 Selfie 1Selfie 2

Lastly, an unrelated question, what about a little disclosure on where you got the money to chopper your way from one political rally to the other during the elections. Last I checked choppers cost way more than ear buds. Tsk tsk.

Yours truly,

Just another socialist, secular Indian

Navaneeth Venkateshwar

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